A Blind Man's Fight For His Love

 Unfortunately, we did not have much time to celebrate; Alia was going to be out of town for 'Guard School' most of the following week. Then, by the end of that week I had to leave. Robyn used the opportunity of those days Alia was out of town to officially introduce herself as my mother-in-law. Shortly after Alia left, she came downstairs to suggest we go out some day and have some talk to get to know each other. That sounded fine with me. Then she started telling me about herself. Next, she was dancing for me. I was totally confused: she was trying to seduce me. I have always found it insulting; clearly Robyn thinks men are stupid and I am no exception. But I had to be really stupid to, just married, break Alia's heart just for a 'fuck'. It was actually rather pathetic; I loved Alia and I simply had no interest in anybody else. I thought I would not react, because if I did, I could reveal some assumptions and that could eventually be used against me. It worried me...

When Alia met me, she saw the opportunity to escape from the labyrinth of drugs, depression and loneliness of her teenage years, and she fought for it fiercely.  I had just finished my Ph.D. a few years ago and was at the end of my two years bicycle tour around the American Northwest, when I first met Alia. Having lost my student status and having become ineligible for Optional Practical Training, I thought I knew my days in the U.S. were reaching their end. However, before I would leave for good, I wanted to go see the natural beauties of the American West. When I first came to the country I promised myself I would go visit Yellowstone, but, after ten years of Ph.D. studies (without a driver's license, because of my visual impairment), I had not been able to find the time and means to do it. It was an enormous effort to complete my Ph.D., but having finally succeeded, I could at least feel comfortable thinking my professional career was on the right track. I could not say the same...

According to Alia, Robyn had some serious mother problems. I remember her once saying that her mother had not even ever taken a look at her child. As Robyn's grievance went, her mother had needed some friend to point out to her, how beautiful her child was. Only then, that first time she looked at her daughter, did she realized she was sort of beautiful. Evidently, Robyn felt her mother had not really loved her; certainly, not nearly as much as she needed. As a matter of fact, I have heard this grievance from many women: for instance, my own mother. I guess women need a lot of love; I mean, a lot. I do not think we are quite aware of how much love women need; they just can never get enough love. I remember one of my first conflicts with Alia was over whether it was appropriate to physically discipline a child. Alia was putting me through the test. It has always since stroke me, that Alia was totally in love with me, but she still needed to make sure I met certain requirements, befo...